Restaurant Etiquette: Non-Verbal Communication.

It is said that 90% of communication is non-verbal. In a restaurant dining room, the rules are no different. Although if you are hoping to avoid interruptions to the ambiance at your table, you can communicate to dining room staff almost exclusively in non-verbal cues.

Sometimes you are deep in conversation, having a great time, and it seems like every five minutes a waitperson is interrupting to see if you need more wine, or bread, or if you are still enjoying that lasagna.

Here are few non-verbal things that can easily be performed in a restaurant setting (and make you look like a dining Jedi to your guests!):

1 If you don’t want more wine/coffee/water/etc, simply hold your hand above your glass when the server circles the table with a bottle or a pitcher (Coffee or teacups in a saucer can be turned upside down in their saucer if you do not wish to have them refilled).

2 When you have finished with your plate, place the cutlery side by side, face down on the plate, diagonally, like the hands of a clock with the tips in the center and the handles pointing to 5:00.

3 If you are merely taking a break from dining, place your cutlery on the top edges the plate, fork on the left and knife on the right (or on whichever side you use them). Alternately, when you see a staff member approaching to clear the table, simply pick your fork up again, or cut a fresh bite of your meal.

4 When a server approaches to check that all is well at the table, simply meet her gaze, make eye contact, and give a reassuring nod.

5 If you are ready for a glass to be cleared or refilled, move it to the edge of the table so if can be easily reached.

6 If you are ready for the check place your credit card on the edge of the table where the server is likely to see it.

Recipe: Soft Boiled Eggs Benedict

Brunch is one of those things that is excellent in a restaurant, but can be a bit tricky to perform at home, as the main event tends to rely on the every fiddly ingredient: Eggs.

To present at their best, eggs ought to be enjoyed as soon as they are cooked. But who wants to spend their whole morning in the kitchen hovering over a steaming skillet, serving one plate of flapjacks at a time?

This is a quick and easy dish I rely on when serving brunch in my tiny apartment, and it hasn’t let me down yet!

Blender Hollandaise:

(From Mastering the Art of French Cooking)

3 egg yolks

1 stick of butter (melted)

1-2 tbs lemon juice

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 black pepper

In the bowl of a blender combine the egg yolks, 1 tbs lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Blend on high until well combined and thick. Add melted butter 1 tbs at a time, blending continuously. Once half of the butter has been incorporated, add the remaining butter all at once. When the sauce is thick and homogeneous, taste and adjust seasoning with additional lemon juice, salt, and pepper to taste.

If you need to ‘hold’ the sauce while preparing other components, pour sauce in a lidded glass jar, and place in a pan of tepid water to keep warm.

Soft boiled eggs

(adapted from the clever folks at Cooks Illustrated)

Allow eggs to reach room temperature so they don’t crack when placed in the pan. Bring 1/2 an inch of water to boil in a large flat pot with a tight fitting lid. With tongs, gently place eggs in boiling water. Cover with a tight fitting lid and steam for six minutes (for soft, runny yolks. Add another 30 seconds for lightly set yolks, and 30 more seconds for firmer yolks). With tongs, place eggs in a bowl and run cold water over them for 1 minute. Peel eggs under running water, and serve. If you need to warm the eggs just before serving, simply place in warm water for 30 seconds.

Restaurant 101: “Corner!”

If you have ever encountered a neighbor at your local supermarket hollering “Corner” while hurtling around the end of the cereal aisle, chances are you narrowly missed slamming into a person who works in a restaurant.

(I will neither confirm nor deny that I have shouted “Corner” in public spaces like farmer’s markets, parking garages, and the market down the street from my apartment.)

Restaurant staff work constantly in tight quarters with hot, heavy, cumbersome plates of food and trays of martini glasses, and so some strategies develop to make it less likely that a bartender with a tray of glassware will collide with a busser laden with arm-loads of dirty plates. When rounding a blind spot in the restaurant floorplan– generally near the major entrances and exits to the kitchen, bar, or scullery– if one listens intently, one may hear a chorus of “Corner” being performed throughout the night.

Get close to the kitchen, and you might also hear such juicy tidbits as “On your back!” And “Hot Behind!” Or their spanish cousin “Atras!” All of which serve the same general purpose; to keep folks from crashing into one another and spilling a tray of hot shortribs all over the floor.

Hospitality @ Home: Wine Service

This is simply a primer on basic wine service for those of you hosting in your home, or others of you who are seeking a restaurant job who have lied on your resumes (not that I have ever known anyone who has done that….)

1. Get a wine key. A real one, you are a grown-up after all. You want a wine key that looks like a swiss army knife, not one that looks like a metal man raising his arms as if to say “It’s gooooooood!” Additionally, your grown-up wine key should, ideally, have a hinged arm, not a solid one. Wine key wine service how to open a bottle of wine2. Learn how to use it.

3. Gather your accoutrement. A (polished) wine glass for each wine drinker, a linen napkin to wipe up bottle drips, and your wine key.

4. Pour a taste.

5. Pour 3-4 ounces in each glass. There is no need to overfill the glasses. Wine, like the rest of us, likes to breathe. And it is polite to leave some wine in the bottle, as some guests may enjoy a splash more wine than others.

A couple of other quick notes– one 750mL bottle of wine contains 5 glasses of wine. One bottle of sparkling wine serves 6. You can hardly ever go wrong estimating 2.5 glasses of wine per guest for a dinner party, as some guests will drink more and some less. Though if you know that your set is a thirsty one (that is not driving home), by all means calculate accordingly. Keep in mind that a good host should be well stocked.

Restaurant Etiquette: Reservations

Reservations are more than a guarantee of a table during a busy Saturday night, there’s a lot to know to make the reservation system work for you.

1.Call. I’m taking a firm stance on this one, because it is something I truly believe; it is always best to call rather than book online.  Calling enables you to begin establishing a rapport with the restaurant, and if there is any additional information that needs to be delivered, the staff can alert you now. Perhaps that 8:00 reservation available online is actually a table outdoors, or perhaps there is a large party arriving at the same time as your preferred reservation time, (if you arrive before they do, your service will certainly go faster). None of these nuggets of information will be listed on Opentable or Yelp. Plus, calling gives you the chance to test drive the place ahead of your meal. If the person on the other end of the line is surly or unhelpful, it might be a message from the ghosts of Dinner Future… advising you to avoid this place.

2.Special circumstances. On the phone call when you book your reservation, advise the restaurant of any special circumstances. Birthdays, anniversaries, food allergies, wheelchair or other accessibility needs, if you have plans after dinner and need to leave at a particular time. Even dropping a comment that “this is a meal with friends that haven’t seen one another in ten years!” Is helpful. Such a party will have a lot of catching up to do, and I wouldn’t book another party on that table for at least three hours.

3.Don’t reserve if your plans are not solid. And if your plans fall through, please call ahead to cancel. It might free up a table in time for guests that would otherwise be turned away, and it is always appreciated by the restaurant.

4. Remember; the computer is watching. If you have a pattern of failing to respect your reservations (i.e. “No Showing”) most reservation systems track this. No one is going to hold a good table on a busy Friday dinner for a guest who has No-showed for several reservations. If you have a habit of no-showing, don’t be surprised if you see a related trend of tables near kitchens and bathrooms, (or, in the worst cases, consistent rebuffs that the restaurant is already fully booked at every time you request).

5. Sometimes, there is still a wait. Anticipating the time it will take a party to enjoy their meal and close their check is not a science. From time to time  guests linger, or the kitchen gets backed up, or a busser had to leave suddenly because his wife went into labor. No one enjoys making guests wait for their table. And while every effort is made to have your table ready precisely at 7:30, circumstances might be such that it is not available until 7:53. When faced with this frustrating scenario, a person might feel compelled to huff “Guess I didn’t need that reservation.” But you did! You did! Because without a reservation, you would have been turned away at the door! There would be no table for you, not even in twenty-three minutes! And while certainly the restaurant ought to acknowledge your patience in graciously waiting until your table is ready by offering a complimentary appetizer or a glass of wine, no one is lying when they say that sometimes waits were simply unavoidable.

6. The Large Party Reservation— Many restaurants have begun requiring a credit card to secure a reservation for parties larger than 6 (or 8, or 12). This policy may be a total bummer for you. But these policies have been established for a reason (see: No-Showing). Yes, just like when we were in elementary school, a few jerks misbehaving can change the rules for everyone. There is no use wheedling the host when she delivers this information on the phone. There is no use escalating the conversation into a conflict by insisting on speaking to the manager. If such a policy truly bothers you, book a reservation elsewhere. Or, if you are granted an exception, don’t abuse it. It is typically the guests that exceptions are made for that tend to reinforce why the policy was made in the first place. Don’t be that guy.

7. Another guy not to be. Don’t be the guy who, upon arriving in an empty or sparsely filled restaurant at the beginning of the evening say “We have a reservation, but looks like we didn’t need one!” More than likely the tables are empty precisely because they are being held for reservations that are arriving within the next 45 minutes. More than likely the tables are empty because the restaurant just opened.

8. It is cool to have a reservation. On a related note, it is cool to have a reservation. You have a reservation! Your arrival is anticipated! Everyone is excited to see you! And everyone is grateful that you made a reservation, because reservations are about so much more than merely assuring that there is a seat for your derrière. Reservations enable the chef to know how many steaks to stock in the walk-in for the weekend. They help the dining room manager schedule enough bartenders so you don’t wait thirty minutes for a cocktail.

St. Patricks Day Recipe: Braised Lamb Shoulder Chops!

A perfect recipe for a cool winter dinner, or to practice now for a St. Patrick’s Day feast!

Braised Lamb Shoulder Chops

2 shoulder chops

3 stalks celery, diced

2 carrots, diced

1 small onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, skinned and left whole

2 anchovies , oil-packed

1 tbs tomato paste

1 cup dry wine (red or white)

1/2 cup stock

1 bouquet garni (2 stalks of rosemary and 6 stalks of thyme)

Salt and pepper

Olive oil

Season the chops with salt and pepper. Pat dry. In a heavy skillet bring a heat a tablespoon of oil to smoking. Sear the chops until crisp and brown on both sides, about 1 minute on each side. Remove chops to a plate. Lower heat to medium. Add the carrot, onion, and celery to the hot pan and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook until aromatic, about 30 seconds. Add anchovies and cook for 1 minute until anchovies begin to melt into the vegetables. Add tomato paste and stir to coat the vegetables

Add wine and stock, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Bring liquid to a boil, then return lamb chops and accumulated juices to the pan. If needed, add additional stock or water to ensure the liquid nearly covers the meat. Reduce to a simmer and cover with a tight-fitting lid. Reduce heat to low (or place in a 240degree oven) and simmer until meat is fork tender but not falling off the bone, about 1.5-2 hours.

Remove chops to a plate and cover loosely with foil to keep warm. Skim fat from the surface of the braising liquid. Strain braising liquid through a fine strainer, discard solids. Return liquid to pan and reduce until liquid coats the back of a spoon. Serve chops on a bed of mashed potatoes, glazed in braising liquid and topped with gremolata.


Zest of 1 lemon (fine)

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1/4 cup of fresh parsley, chopped

Combine ingredients and chop fine. cover and refrigerate until ready to use. Can be made up to six hours in advance.

Restaurant 101: Turns

The word Turn in a restaurant is more than a verb, it is noun. In restaurant speak, a Turn is the liminal space between one party completing their meal and leaving the table and the next party arriving to take residence at the same table for their meal.

When service is running smoothly, turns are seamless. A party that arrived at 6:00pm is sipping the dregs of their coffee cups and signing the credit card slip by 7:45pm. They clear off moments later under a chorus of warm goodbye and thank you‘s from the assembled dining room staff. The table is clear of everything other than a few stray demitasse spoons and water glasses, so a single busser can carry all the dishes away in one trip to the scullery, and the table is re-set before an 8:00pm reservation arrives to take residency for another two hours.

Turns are necessary to most restaurant’s survival. In order to keep the lights on and the water running, establishments must be able to turn tables. On popular nights (Valentine’s Day, New Years Eve, Saturday night), the turns enable more guests to enjoy the space on a holiday or special occasion. Attempting to accommodate turns is why, when you call at noon on Saturday the only tables available for dinner that night are 5:00 and 9:00. The restaurant may be empty at 5:00, but the staff knows that all of their tables are booked for 6:30pm, so they may not be able to seat those tables at 5:15, or may only be able to seat them with the condition that they party clears the table by 7:00.